It's time to change!!

Assalaimulaikum...

Alhamdulilah,the weather is perfect today and my mood became more better..*Alhamdulilah*

For the past few days I knew that I cried a lot. Maybe because this is the first time I felt too disappointed with myself and maybe because the reality was too harsh for me until I did not knew what to do and how to handle it. But when I thought back there was nothing I can do if I just only cried because crying will not change the fact but praying to Allah will change many things like you felt better and you felt that you were not alone in this journey as Allah will always with you forever and ever.

When I started to give up with a few things in my life,mom said that I should not give up and be grateful with what I had. Mom said I should be grateful as Allah grants me many things for me for the past 20 years old. He gave me family and friends that always support me and I have a good academic performance and of course I also had a really good health before this. Mom said that in life Allah will always test us with something,so that we will always remember Him and keep our faith to Allah. Mom said that my journey maybe look hard but this is the best way for me. So, whether I want or not this trial I need to keep move on so that I can see my rainbows again.

So, this is the time for me to recalibrate my ship of life again. So, I promised to myself that I choose to live well. There will be the hidden hikmah behind all trials

p/s:Mom is the best shoulder that I can cry on. I want to be a strong person like mom, a woman that took care us alone since 14 years ago.

p/s2:Please do not ask me about my future plan now like where I want to pursue my studies because I do need some time to recover back and I am quite pretty sure that it will take some time for me to fully recover and heal. Actually I knew that some of you really take care about me but sometime, there are a few things that I am not comfortable to talk about. And I admit I hate to talk about diabetes and I admit that actually I really hate when someone did not believed when I told I have diabetes because to be honest I also did not want to admit about myself having diabetes.(erkk actually one of my neighbours asked me about my future plan and I felt so stress, I am sorry but I just a normal human being.)

p/s3:Even though I decided to live well.*Insya-Allah* but for the past few months I need to admit that crying is the best things.It was so easily for my tears to burst. I cried when I pray, I cried when I ate, I cried when I slept, I cried when I took a bathe, I cried when I injected myself with insulin, I cried when I drank the herb water, I cried when I took the medicines, I cried when I met the doctors, I cried even though I joined a vocation with my best friend. I am really sorry to my best friend for spoiled our holiday last week. Thus, tears had been my best friend since a few months.